The Interview: How the Female Narcissist manipulates you into a Relationship

In any relationship, there is the initial meeting, date, etc., of two people.  Normally this is a time to 'get to know one another', even feel each other out to determine if the relationship is a good idea for one another.

This is normal and even consider healthy.

However, it’s also the playground of the narcissist.  For the female narcissist it’s not a date, it’s an interview, where she can size you up to determine whether or not you’re “worth” her effort.  As she plays the locust and flies from field to field (you’re not the first, or the last field she’s visited), and she’ll determine what you contain that she can consume.  However, she first has to gain your confidence, and she does this by asking the following questions during the interview.

 More or less these questions should remind ever male victim, in retrospect, of their first meeting with the narcissist.

1. "Wow, is that a new shirt? It's my favorite color, and so stylish!

She doesn't really cares about the shirt, except that if it looks expensive you have must money, so her interest is peaked, but she has to dig further.

2.  “So what do you do for a living?”

She won’t just come out and ask you how much money you earn, that would be considered “rude”, and might throw you off, but she likely knows every occupation there is on earth by annual income.  However, if you tell her that you’re a student, or working at Wendy’s, (no money, likely living at home) she’s out of there. If you tell her you’re an upper level executive, lawyer, or some other high paying career, you can bet that her heart will begin to pound. “My, what a beautiful plentiful field for me to devour, yum!”

3. “So, are you married, in a relationship? Single?”

Now the question of whether you are married or in a relationship isn't such a strange question you would think it is. Not in today’s society where there are no boundaries. Plus you would be surprised how many people are married or in a relationship would just have a “platonic meeting”, or even or go out on a date, even with a friend of the opposite sex having no idea they are a narcissist looking to target them no matter what their relationship status is. 

You see it might not be your intention to get into a relationship.  I wasn't mine, but they are masters of manipulation and change that in a heartbeat. Therefore, whether you are married, in a relationship or single it doesn't matter.  If you are meeting all the checkmarks, they don't care.

Moreover, it’s what female narcissist do all the time. There is no moral code or boundary they won't attempt to breach if they think you're the perfect target.  In life they lie, cheat, pretend, steal, whatever it takes to serve their purpose. Besides, if you are attached, they love the challenge of being the "other women" because they are so egocentric and selfish they believe that they can easily best the "competition".  

However, what they are doing at this point, and especially if you are attached, is hoping to get a response along the lines of, “Yes I'm married...dating..., but she doesn’t understand or treat me right.”  Or, “Well, yes, but we’re having difficulties, we're  trying to work it out.”  If you are single, she'll ask about your past relationships.  In all cases, she's looking for the weak points in your personality that she can exploit.  Therefore, if you feel misunderstood, she will tell you how understanding she can be and that she feels it's important to listen to people and help them, and her philosophy of how she believes women should support, defend, love their men, etc.  She might even go for the home run and ask you, "God I wish I'd meet a man like you!"

She knows that by instinct, and it's psychologically true that men have an absolute need to feel respected.  She’ll play that tune and that will be music to your ears.

In my case, she knew my wife had died and acted as though she listened to how wonderful life had been with her, and how she was a good wife and partner.  As I spoke I know now that she was taking her mental notes how she would mimic her behavior.

4. “What are your plans for the future?”

In my case, I had talked about how my wife wanted me to enjoy life and not be lonely. The fact that I had said “moving on” meant she might lose the bait.

This meeting was mere weeks after my wife died. I had been sitting at home staring at the walls for the most part, frozen, in shock, and just wanted to get out.

However, right after dinner while walking out to our cars she made her move and that was the beginning of two years of hell. 

You see, narcissists don’t care any about impropriety, or of taking advantage of someone who is obviously not ready for such decisions. After leaving the narcissist, I felt a lot of guilt about what I had done, but my friends who knew my heart, along with therapy, helped me greatly to overcome that guilt. However, the point is that I was targeted, and that’s the whole point of the female narcissist’s game, to target you, gain your confidence, and to finally, mercilessly devour you.