My story is how I watched my life explode over just less than a two-year period from such a relationship with a narcissist, so I know the damage that can be done.  Now some might say that “Well it’s a two-way street” when it comes to relationships. I know that as well as I practiced it for 30 years with a wonderful woman.  I know marriage is a relationship where two people become one, giving and taking, and being thankful to each other all the time. 

But you see a female narcissist reads that and has to barf at the suggestion of a "loving caring union".

But as much as relationships are a two-way-street, with the female narcissist there is only one way and it’s her way.

Regardless, in the case of the “relationshit” you are in, or have been with these women, know this, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. 

You WERE targeted and VICTIMIZED by someone with a PERSONALITY DISORDER.  It’s not your fault that you fell for this person, they attracted you to them as a spider to the fly.  How they did that is the secret that they never want to get out.  That secret usually comes at the first meeting/date with a female narcissist where she “sized” you up with innocent sounding questions.  Like “What are your plans”, “Where do you work”, etc.  It’s more an interview than a date, but through those questions she may get you to dump a bit and so use that information to formulate a plan to “hook you”.   What they usually hook on too is an assessment of what other women you have been involved with.   They are asking these questions to “size you up” and see how much BS they think you will take.

If you are a pretty nice guy, non-argumentative, progressive and caring, she’ll walk all over you from the get-go.   For me is was the kindness of how I cared for my wife while she died all while going through my own battle with cancer.   I was weak from the effort, tired, vulnerable.   I talked of moving into the future, but looking back I was exhausted.  I really only wanted to get away from the horror of watching my wife die.   Of course rather than be a friend, by the end of the night she had suggested that we become “Friends with Benefits”.

Through this knowledge you will find out in this book that she somehow pulled the right string in getting you.  Something in your personality.  Perhaps it goes all the way back to childhood, maybe you are realizing that throughout your whole life you’ve but nevertheless you are never responsible for the abuser’s actions.  The only responsibility you or I have is the choice whether or not to let it continue.

In my own experience there came a day when I said “ENOUGH” and walked away.  Not a lot of explanation, just simply walked away, and I’ve stayed away.  I have been NO CONTACT for over a year now, and trust me, NO CONTACT is the ONLY WAY you break free.  I’ll tell you more about NO CONTACT in a bit, but after breaking away comes the real work and that’s on YOURSELF.

 

  TPmcatamney